WP's Style Invitational

Each week, The Washington Post holds a word contest called The Style Invitational. In 1998, the Week 266 Style Invitational invited readers to redefine any word from the dictionary. The results, published in the 10 May 1998 Sunday paper include these:

• Seventh Runner-Up: Carcinoma -- n., a valley in California, notable for its heavy smog.
  
• Sixth Runner-Up: Asunder -- adj., supine.
• Fifth Runner-Up: Esplanade -- v., to attempt an explanation while drunk.
• Fourth Runner-Up: Willy-nilly -- adj., impotent.
• Third Runner-Up: Flabbergasted -- adj., appalled over how much weight you have gained.
• Second Runner-Up: Negligent -- adj., describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.
• First Runner-Up: Excruciate -- n., the ligament that attaches your ex-wife to your paycheck.
  
• Grand winner: Canticle -- n., a modular office space so small and lightless that it saps an employee of all motivation.
  

Some of the more popular honorable mention entries have lived on in emails and blogs, including some of our favorites:

• Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
• Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
• Gargoyle (n.), garlic & oil-flavored mouthwash.
• Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
• Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
• Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

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Blog entry via Harriet